Men in Tights...or Spandex

Picture if you will, just for a moment...men in spandex. And not the fake shit, the real, stretchy, tight, clingly stuff.

My school witnessed this phenomenon at an assembly after school today. Some were repulsed, some found it hilarious. I believe it was both of those, plus some extra sexual attraction...damn some of those guys have nice asses!
'What the fuck kind of school do you go to where you see football players in spandex at assemblies' is what some of you may be thinking. But believe me, it isn't any type of radical, new-age school. It's just a school that cares. Let me explain.
The entire shennanigan started with fundraising for the Eagles Cancer Telathon. All the fall sports sold t-shirts to raise money. The football coach then made a mistake by challenging the volleyball girls to a selling competition with the football team. Whichever team sold less shirts had to do the other team's conditioning drills in front of the school. As you can imagine, that would put the girls in shoulder pads and the guys in...spandex. The volleyball team, as underdogs, were victorious over the football guys and today was the magical day where the whole school got to see the 'junkular region' of every football player enhanced through the spandex. 

From a very sexual woman's point of view (that being my own), it was at first giggle inspiring, but once the workout started it quickly became repulsive. The boys had to run and jump and squat and crawl in their spandex and we got to witness the whole thing - unedited. My point:
Dudes should NEVER wear short shorts. They may have nice asses. And they may have some killer legs (indirect quote from Amanda), but those legs don't get tan...and don't get shaved.

So ladies, if you ever see a guy in short shorts or spandex, please slap him across the face as hard as you possibly can. Do it for America if not for yourself. Come on, we all know as chicks that there is a deep urge and compulsion to just randomly slap some guy. Chicas - here is your chance to experience that quintessential moment! Sieze the opportunity if it arises! Again, if not for yourself, do it for AMERICA.

However, watching those guys do that workout was fulfilling...and hilarious. NO MORE COMPLAINING ABOUT WARRIORS!!! :D At least, that should be the case :)
If I can, I shall get a video up of the assembly so you all can see what I got to see today.
I must ado to my man's house :) Another post soon. Again...comments welcomed/recommended for options for my next post :)