As any and all women should know, bikini season will soon arrive. It's nearly here already! And if that is a fact, then so is this: people are freaking out trying to get in shape and FIT in those itty bitty thingys.
So that is what this post will focus on. Exercise. Torture. They should change the dictionary definition of masochism to "willing to exercise."
As I'm sure anyone could assume (thereby making an ass out of us all!) that I am not a fan of exercise. Yeah I like the end result, but we all do. We all want flat stomachs and toned arms, legs, back, and bootay. It's just that most of us don't want to work for them - like me. :)
I can make excuses. "I can't do push-ups because I have a bad back." "I don't want my boobs to shrink." "I'm afraid to run because I might puke." We can all make excuses. Most of them are actually true, but no one else cares about your problems. Scratch that. No one else cares about your mental problems - EVERYONE cares about your physical problems a.k.a. your FAT ASS.
Okay, okay. I guess I should actually talk about the process of exercising. I hear that you should start with stretching (checkmate! I was a dancer bitches). Then go into warm up (easy cardio) then ramp up that cardio and feel the burn for like 15 minutes. Then either go into cool down/stretching or into other workouts.
I have rarely forced myself to work out on my own. Mainly I was forced to do such painful things by others (coaches and gym teachers). They always had a plan of what to do to focus on certain areas. I should have paid attention. Cause I can't even tell you the legit difference between sit ups and crunches. I occasionally do them when my tummy starts to get a little too round...
Arms - push ups, pull ups, barbells, etc
Legs - squats, lunges, leg machine at all gyms (combines as an ab torturer), etc.
Ass - squats, lunges, etc.
And yeah! Like I said, not huge on willingly exercising, but some freaks are. Still, I'll probably have to do something before I put myself in a two piece!
Comment with funny workout stories, your own favorites, or just hate toward exercising in general (feel free to use your explicit vocabulary ;D)
Well... I'm probably not going to use explicit vocabulary. That's generally reserved for quoting AVPM and AVPS (and now AVPSY as well!). And I don't really have many funny workout stories. But I have been working out lately. Exercise bikes and a whole variety of weights. Actually, just on Thursday I had one of the worst exercise experiences of my life. I was required to take this stupid Fitness and Wellness class and out last of day of class was Thursday. Our teacher decided to celebrate this by taking us outside to the soccer field. There, we had to run two laps, do 20 squat jumps, 20 pushups, 1 minute in plank position, and then 20 lunges. Then repeat. Five times.
ReplyDeleteMy hips and shoulders are still protesting. I have the joints of a 70 year old.
Dang. Yeah I haven't really worked out since dance. And do you realize how long ago that was?!
ReplyDeleteOuch. I do not wish I was you, but I do have pity for you. I know how you feel about having ridiculous joints. My hips...geez you don't even wanna know.